In honour of my beautiful mother Santina who always wanted better for me: Oct 10 1936 – March 11 2010
When I finally woke up one day and realized that as much as I tried to do things different, be better and be different… I was INDEED living my mother’s life. It wasn’t always a horrible life, but it wasn’t mine.
I also knew that my mother always wanted the best for me and would never want me to take on her challenges, beliefs or struggles. I knew that I had to do better not just for me… but to honour her!
I knew in the moment that I was on my bathroom floor praying and desperate, that I needed to change things or die. I had already been dying inside little by little but I knew that the fear of staying the same far exceeded the fear of starting my journey and leaving the known for the unknown. Wanting more for myself brought up feelings of guilt, who was I to want more or better? I was full of shame and full of fear but that deep yearning for more, for a “new normal”, that voice inside me gave me the courage to take a leap! My wish for you and every woman out there is that you start your quest today. Don’t put it off another day, or another year, for when the time is right or when you have enough money. Do it now. You don’t have to do it a la Eat, Pray, Love or do it the way I did, or others, or anything else big or dramatic… you can do it in your own way, and in your own time. Make a plan, take a step and get started… your life is too precious and too beautiful for you to let your dreams die while you’re still living! Elizabeth Gilbert shares so beautifully in her recent interview with Oprah: “You’re either going toward your destiny or away from it”… you choose!
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