When a Woman Says YES
For most of my life I lived in fear. I was not good enough, too fat, too this, too that or not enough of this or that. I was not aware at the time that I was living in fear and full of limitations. That was the nature of my reality, of my “normal”. Most people living a “small life” or limitation and fear are also unaware. What I mean by a small life is one that expected of you, one that is lived on someone else’s terms or definition, not one of your own making or design. A life where even the thought of change is preceded by and immediate shrinking or recoiling.
You should be thankful for what you have. Be grateful. You have enough. Don’t get too big for your britches. Be happy with what you have. Why can’t you be more like so and so? Do any of these sound familiar or ring any bells?
These are all code for: settle for good enough… don’t dare greatly.
Is this the life we’re meant to live? Maybe you desire to do something great as I did. Maybe there is a small quiet voice within you telling you that you’re meant to do greater things. Maybe you desire to give back and contribute in a way that has meaning.
You see for years I would tell myself to be grateful for what I had (code for settle). I felt guilt for not feeling grateful enough and I felt guilty for complaining or feeling dissatisfied. Who the heck was I to want more or different than my family or peers. Why wasn’t this good enough, why can’t I be happy. For years I fit myself into a mold because it was scary to be different. I was afraid of rejection. I had no support really because no one understood me. My questions to them challenged their own fears and I was shut down each time. After years of making slow progress in this direction and taking a LOT of detours along the way I finally got it!
This all changed for me when I said YES! When I decided to do something different. When I gave myself permission to reconnect to my long lost dreams, to the yearnings that I held deep inside me.
One day on a trip to California, by myself in the wonder of nature and all it’s glory I was feeling the happiest I had ever felt, connected to myself and to all of creation. Alone on hill top looking down at a pristine lake, I heard a voice. That voice was clear and sure. “This is the real YOU” it said. Then a question came: “How can I continue to feel this, how can I take this with me?” When I arrived back home from my vacation I was, as anyone who undertakes a quest should be, changed forever.
You see I had tapped into something that I could no longer ignore or make the source of yet another New Year’s resolution. I had tapped into the calling of my soul, my heart’s song as I call it. I had tapped into the place that confirmed for me that the way I had been living was small, limited and confined and the realization that there was so much more for me to live and experience and give back… and most importantly that I could do it, I had to find a way!
I could no longer go back to the life I was living, I could no longer fit in or try to fit myself in. I had come to the truth, that as grateful as I was to have all that I had, I was meant to do something more, to live bigger and I said YES!
Saying YES was the first step toward living life on my terms. With mentoring and guidance along the way I was able to realize my dream of living in a tropical sea-side town, find a new calling, and purpose for my work, access the abundance of life and travel more, design a life of my own, not the one everyone else was living around me, but my own.
It’s my wish for you that when you lay your head on your pillow at night that you feel full and grateful and that you wake up each morning with a spark of excitement for your day.
Here are 5 Ways You Can Begin to Connect To Your YES:
Go on a Quest: Experience your very own heroin’s journey: a retreat, a trip, something where you get out of your comfort zone, alone.
Quiet the Noise: It may be counter intuitive but don’t tell everyone your deep dreams or desires. Be selective because in the very beginning you will be vulnerable to criticism and naysayers. Guard your heart’s song and only share it will nonjudgmental supporters
Journal: Ask yourself this: If time, money & resources where no issue I would… Then listen to all the “ya-buts” that come up and write them down on another paper and toss them out.
Expand Your Circles of Influence: Find other people who have done what you would like to do. Ask for their support, guidance. Surround yourself by the people who want to be more like.
Find a Mentor: Find a mentor, guide or coach that can help you navigate all the emotions, unlock your fears and blocks and help move you forward safely and with encouragement and new tools. These are the skilled people that will help you squash all your “ya-buts”.
Lastly, start to ask better questions. If you find yourself staring at your “ya-but” list a little too long, ask instead “how can this be possible for me?” Asking better questions leads to better answers. Here’s to your YES and the adventure that is ahead of you.
Giovanna is a Self Mastery Mentor & Women’s Empowerment Speaker. She mentors and coaches women globally, teaching them to create a Delicious Life through self-mastery, overcoming emotional blocks and fear and ultimately increasing self-love to create a fulfilling and purposeful life and career.