It is very common in this New Age to seek lessons and reasons for why we “attract” certain people, places, things and events in our lives. What if those people, places, times and events are actually placed there for us by our “higher selves?” The part of us that is a pure spirit and always connected to the source. If this is the case then we can just live in each moment and give up blaming ourselves or beating ourselves over the head with whys and why-nots of why we “attracted” something or someone. Yes, there are always lessons to be learned from our experiences and our encounters. It’s important to be “awake” to this and conscious of it. Otherwise, we walk around just existing as victims of our circumstance. If we are willing, and our intention is to learn, then the lessons can’t escape us. We don’t have to try, they come up in the small quiet moments in peace and in calmness.
I start this blog with these questions because I am in the process of learning how to be fully present in every moment. Which for me as a self-professed worry-wart and over-thinker it has been quite the challenge. Still, during this time alone in a beautiful place it’s becoming easier and easier. Today I had my first Spanish lesson and I met some wonderful people. We have already made plans to go out after class tomorrow and I can’t wait to see what I will learn from them! Traveling away from your comfort zone and learning to adapt to a new place is a sure fire way to live in the moment and allow what will be, to be. Still, that new-agey concept of looking for lessons can creep in and ruin the moments of “being.” Today was an example of that.
After my lesson I went to a new grocery spot, a local outdoor market with a great selection of natural and alternative foods. When I was done I jumped in a cab and headed home to eat, slip on my swimsuit, and head to the beach. As I lay on the beach staring out at the ocean and breathing deeper than I had in years my mind started to wander back to him. Arrrgh!! I started to analyze the “lessons” and the “whys.” The more I did this, the more my heart began to ache and I popped right back into the “story.” This is what being in your head instead of the present moment can do. I noticed a strange thing however, I noticed that as I brought my focus back on the ocean and as I allowed myself to just feel I was also observing myself outside of myself (if you can make any sense out of that). It’s like I had stepped outside of myself and I was observing my own longing for what had been and what I realized was that I had been creating this story my WHOLE life! Longing for something or someone outside of myself even while in a relationship. I also realized that this concept of learning lessons was creating a block in my relationships and my life! How many of you like school? I love it, love learning, but lets face it there is a notion of work involved right? Something that can be difficult or a struggle of some kind, right? Well, if I approach my relationships with this preconceived notion and expectation then am I not going to be looking for the lessons. Which in turn leads to not actually living in the moment and being in the relationship.
Giving up the story is difficult because sometimes the “story” looks and sounds so spiritual and makes so much sense that you just go with it. What if my job in my relationship was to enjoy every minute of it and walk away peacefully when the enjoyment or connection stopped being of service to me or the other person? What if forcing yourself to stay in something long past the expiration date for the “lesson” was just keeping you stuck? In summation, toss out the new age crap once in a while and when you notice yourself floating back to the past or off into the future, remind yourself that those “stories” only exist in your mind as illusions. They are not real because they are not NOW. And don’t beat yourself up so much about “lessons” because your deeper wisdom will always make sure you’re having the exact right experience you’re supposed to be having at any given moment. Your job is to stay present and to observe yourself. For heaven’s sake ENJOY your life with the lessons. That’s why schools have recess!
Signing out from Playa,
Giovanna