Trying to control another person, or forcing someone to be different from who they are and what they are capable of, is not love. It is more loving to let them go. If there is to be true love then there needs to be freedom within yourself and with the other. Choose yourself first always. You can’t force anyone to act differently but you can honor yourself and choose what feels loving for you.
When you feel or sense that first twinge of fear or attachment that is usually when “survival” mode kicks in. This is when we try to control ourselves, the other, our feelings and the circumstance. It’s okay, don’t judge yourself. This is done out of fear because your inner-child is afraid to be hurt. Now is the time to comfort him/her and realize that you are creating a story or an illusion in the now based on the past. When you get stuck in this control or “survival” mode then you shut down your heart and let fear predominate the situation. This starts a horrible cycle that can only be broken by the realization that it is not real. You are creating in the present based on the past. Forgive yourself, love yourself and surrender to what is. Nothing can hurt you that you do not allow to. When you forgive, you return to love. Sometimes it’s a painful journey and you have to express the pain and go to the depths, but as you return to the surface of that deep ocean of emotions you feel cleansed, safe and return to love. Returned to what is real. Only love is real, everything else is something we made up to get in the way, or to keep us “safe” because we had so much pain to carry. It’s okay to put down the load now and tell your inner child, “I got you, you’re safe, trust me, and I love you!”
Sending you love,