The Lost Feminine
“These male women assume it is a romantic connection they are missing, so they find men they can control and dominate. Since opposite energies attract, they attract feminine men. Unfortunately, their choice often leads to more unhappiness. Since their energetic makeup is the opposite of what it should be, these women become less and less fulfilled as the years go by.” Jennifer Granger – from the book, Feminine Lost, Why Most Women are Male
Are you a female living more in your masculine energy than your feminine energy? The unfortunate and simplistic answer to that is probably yes. It’s unfortunate but true! We women have had to learn to live in a male dominated world for obvious historical reasons that I don’t have time to get into in such a short blog post. Although we all stand on the shoulders of amazing women trail blazers that came before us, we were never taught how to own our own power in our feminine. Instead we have been taught to access our power using our masculine side alone. We have taught ourselves to mimic the very masculine traits we fought to stop oppressing us and instead we oppressed and repressed our own very natural and powerful feminine self. As a result, not only do we negate and abandon our own sacred feminine essence but we are unconsciously calling in the wrong types of men, men that exhibiting more feminine traits. We are literally all suffering from a polarity reversal which has had massive impact on how we see ourselves in the world and in our relationships with others, and most important on the men we call into our lives!
Women have lost this balance and as a result men are having to adjust, leaving them totally confused and destabilized. Men don’t want to come home to the boss lady. They want a woman who is capable of being independent and taking charge, who knows when and how to change the oil in her car but who will allow him to do it for her. They want a woman who is capable of receiving the love and service they want to provide. If you find you’re taking charge too often in your relationships it’s because you’ve taken on this very masculine trait. You’re trying to control rather than to allow, receive, and flow in your own power by accessing your feminine energy. Don’t get me wrong as a self professed control freak and historically someone who has tried to steer her life rather than allow, this trait can be very useful to get things done in the world and I have called upon it a lot, especially over the last few years. However, there is a time and place to access your masculine side and guess what ladies? It’s not when you’re dealing with your man.
When I speak about masculine and feminine it is not to negate one for the other, rather it’s to learn to keep these in balance and know when to access the other. For example, a very feminine energetic trait is the ability to receive. It has been my experience both personally and professionally that this is a major issue for many women. We have no problem doing for others and giving to the point of self abandonment but we have a hard time receiving. How often have you heard yourself saying “oh it’s okay you don’t have to” or “I can do it myself”? Let me fill you in on a little secret… your man wants to do for you! He wants to feel like he fulfills a need in your life, that he’s necessary and able to provide you with what you need. The more we push them away and tell them we “have it” the more our polarities of masculine and feminine reverse in the dynamics of our relationships. A man wants to feel that he’s making a difference in your life. If you have the unfortunate attitude that you “don’t need a man”, you “can do it all yourself” (a residual effect of the negative side of the feminist movement), then guess what… that’s exactly what you’ll get! Doing it all yourself and unhappily complaining about it. Learning to receive is a huge first step toward accessing and balancing your feminine side.
The very duality of this world and our nature tells us that we each possess both masculine and feminine energies regardless of sexual orientation, like yin and yang. Our polarity or pull toward one or the other is dependant on the balance and expression of one or the other. Often what we think of as a wonderful feminine trait of nurturing and caring can have an outward expression that is over doing, overbearing and controlling making it more masculine than feminine. There are times when the masculine energy also naturally present in a women is necessary to be called upon. For example, a very masculine energetic trait is assertiveness and aggression and is often missing in some women making them unable to speak up for themselves or their needs. Out of balance on the other end of the spectrum and you see very aggressive and bossy women who take what they want. I’m sure you have all seen this in action as well… especially if you’ve gone clearance sale shopping… am I right ladies? You see, a balance is very important! We want to access each part of ourselves at the right time and in the right moments so that we don’t abandon our true nature and essence, so we can live a more complete and fulfilled existence.
Again we bring this concept back to the question of BALANCE. In order to access the best of who you are you need to learn to use all of your gifts. Too long has the feminine been denied her true power. It’s not about the outside ladies. It’s not about what you wear or your makeup and hair, although this in a healthy state can be a beautiful expression of the feminine should you choose to express it in this way… but that does not define feminine energy.
When these energies, polarities, or sides of ourselves are out of balance and become blurred, women start to find a discord in their own energy, life and relationships. We attract the wrong kinds of men into our life for example, and stay stuck in a cycle that makes us feel unworthy of love. So how can we start to find a little more balance?
There is one big secret to tapping into your feminine side and accessing both it’s power and beauty to start transforming your life and relationships today…
Join me on a FREE teleseminar, June 28th, where we will discuss this and dive deeper into the question of balance. Pre-register by clicking here to secure your spot today!